If the stories in the bible are God's work, why do they sound like a creation of humans?

The events in the bible are not astounding, not interesting, or original. The snake? Come on. A primitive desert tribe comes up with some story about a talking snake? Huh, all the other primitive tribes came with just as dull stories, what separates the Jews from them? I don't think that the resurrection story was a copy, but really? Some awesome dude comes back from the afterlife. It's nothing new and/or spectacular. A bunch of other ancient nut cases came up with it, what separates a few loony Jews from them? Every tribe has come up with miracle stories, how are Jesus's any different? Did satan somehow have the foresight to screw with you all? You all think everyone else's stories are fake, perhaps you are ALL wrong about your own? Please don't spit out some mindless jabber about "well ours is true" or "the thing is, God is on our side". Every religion says this, I want more than that. Maybe you all can stop arguing about your god's being bigger than his god's, and promote science.